Back from the 'Burgh

I’m back from Edinburgh via a wedding in Wales (we did so many miles in the car that they actually make up 1% of its total mileage. And it is a very old car with a lot of miles on the clock). When I have the strength I will comment on the shows I saw (21 over 7 days, not bad when you consider I was working a shift a day too), but in the meantime, I just have to mention one of the highlights of the festival.

I was walking to the Gilded Balloon when I saw Luke Wright (the poet) walk past, which put a smile on my face as it’s always good to do a bit of star spotting at festival time. Then, as I rounded a sandwich board to climb the steps of the venue, I literally bumped into Colin Murray (who is on my List of Five People I Can Sleep With Without Punishment), although it took me a few seconds to realise who he was. By which time, of course, he had gone, and I was not able to test out the theory. Damn! Because of course he would have succumbed to my West Country charms…

And then came the best star spotting of all, because standing in the lobby having a chat with a mate was - Daniel Kitson! I got quite excited (too excited, really) and lurked a few feet away, eavesdropping on their conversation (I know, I’m sorry), trying to look like I was waiting for someone rather than the pathetic stalker I was. When he left to go upstairs, I followed him out but lost him in the crowd. Sanity set in and I realized I was being very sad, so sensibly stopped all attempts to flush him out, but when I went to the Sportsmans’ Bar for my next show, there he was, waiting too! It was fate, clearly. The steward asked us all to start queuing, and whilst I was getting my stuff together, Daniel’s and my eyes met across the room.

This is it, I thought, here’s where he realizes that I’m a wonderfully witty, erudite person that he would love to hang out with and go to gigs with and practise his new material in front of. Paper cup of tea in one hand, he looked at me and said…

“Sorry, from where to where did she ask us to queue?”

Not quite what I’d hoped for, but still… contact!

And my witty, erudite response?

“From there to there [imagine my pointing with hand] - and can I just say that I thought 66a Church Road was great.”

Yes, that was it.

Daniel’s reply was an embarrassed “thank you” before he shuffled off to join the queue, making sure there were at least 5 people between myself and him. I heard him laughing very loudly through the show, but that was it – I’d blown my one chance to impress him. So no, Daniel Kitson did not continue the conversation, and ask for my number, and invite round to his Crystal Palace flat for bacon and avocado sandwiches. But he made me smile on a wet day in Edinburgh, and so that was enough.